@Lucie

I can expand on Limerance, maybe if you are feeling brave you should share your story also so I can help in a better manner.

Limerence is the emotional state of uncontrollable obsession for a particular person, called the Limerent Object, coupled with a desire to obtain their emotional commitment. Some people experience pre others post-relationship during the breakup.

Limerence is actually a separate emotion from love, even though they share some similarities: Both emotions are directed towards another person and both are intensely affectionate. There are, however, distinct differences between the two.

Someone who suffers from limerence is only concerned to seduce the Limerent Object and acquire their heart and emotional commitment. In a nutshell, a Limerent wants to obtain love, a Lover wants to give it away.

So in the context of a breakup, if you actually love the person, you will let them go because you want them to be happy even if it is not with you. That is true selfless love. Whereas if Limerance is at play you will become obsessed, fantasize about the person falling back in love with you etc.  with trying to retrieve beyond a certain point even after being presented with evidence the relationship was never going to work.

https://hastyreader.com/limerence-passionate-love/ a more in depth explanation and how to overcome it.

Hope that helps you, Lucie, you want someone who makes you feel secure and loved, that requires equal commitment do not settle for less.

Tim

@shelbyville YOU ARE WANTED! 🙂