Hey Grace,

It’s great that you’re trying to be safe while dating. If you ever feel the tiniest bad vibes from anyone, then you have every right to decline meeting them. No one has any rights to your time or attention nor any rights to ignore any of your boundaries.

That said, why not try recruiting your friends into helping you find a potential boyfriend? I find that friends are a great resource when looking to meet new people because they have already vetted the person for you, or should do that first. They also have friends who might be on the look out for their friends and you’ll only know when you let them know that you’re looking.

And remember, you can always stop any action, e g hugging, should you become uncomfortable in the middle of it. You don’t have to have a reason because not feeling it is the only reason you need; you can always say no and expect that person to respect your wishes. ‘Saying no’ is you respecting your limits and boundaries. And if they don’t stop, then you will have to decide whether they’re someone you really want to hang out with.

Good luck and have fun.