@kkasxo, my goodness, nothing to feel guilty about, as you said, we all have different journeys at different times. But I often thought of you and wondered in my head how you’re doing. There is a lot of change in the world and in my life currently and I guess I was and still am I guess, overwhelmed at times. The two of us have been on such a roller coaster or is it a merry go-round at this stage?

How are things with Mr. A and the jobs front? I’m so glad as always to hear from you.

@sammy, it’s a tough time for you huh? It’s totally up to you, this forum and these threads are for anyone and everyone to contribute to. The only thing that might additionally help is to have your own thread with a title that will get people’s attention as you might not get as many responses on my thread because it’s old and new readers might not be inclined to dip in to a thread that’s over 100 pages long!!! I’m happy to help in any way I can – even though I have by no means got my sh1t together!

I can’t say I know how it feels to need to want alcohol, I’ve never been a big drinker so I guess that was at least one extra dimension that I didn’t have to suffer through with my heartbreak. But from what I’ve learned…and again…I’ve no experience, but just some research of my own, the booze is to stop you feeling. All the feels. The loneliness, the pain, the loss. I think it’s a numb-er, a distraction. Cos those feels are…..hard. I mean….really hard. But I guess all feelings, good or bad, hard or not, gotta flow through us, until they disappear. If we allow them out, they do eventually change. Ebb and flow…this too shall pass.

I know it’s been 4.5 months and he was not right for you in so many ways and you can see – logically – that you needed better and deserve better…but you’re still hurt. Absolutely hurt and why wouldn’t you be? It was a lot. a large part of your life, all of your heart, it’s okay not to be okay ya know. And trust me, I get it….we don’t WANT to not be okay, we want the pain to go away, we want to see an improvement, we want to feel better and we want our hope back. And it will come, but just not yet maybe.

Tim has had some great insights on here from what I read and he’s made it through and worked on himself wonderfully and painfully and we all have the capacity to do that. Do not be harsh on yourself for feeling how you feel. Self criticism and degradation does not prove helpful I find. You are who you are Sammy, you feel a lot, you feel sad, it’s not your fault you feel this way, everyone on this planet deals with things differently and your way is your way.

Keep trying to think ahead and at least even if you don’t believe there is hope, say to yourself perhaps that ‘everyone can’t be wrong, there’s gotta be some hope’…

Hang in there x