Dear Jessi:

You titled your thread “Obsession, idealization”, and in your most recent post, you asked regarding your boyfriend who is obsessed with one particular woman: “I wonder if he has some mental, emotional, girlfriend problems?”

www. medicalnewstoday. com/ articles/ obsessive love vs real love, reads: “Health professionals do not widely recognize obsessive love, or ‘obsessive love disorder.’ as a mental health condition. Indeed, it is not currently listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. However, obsessive love can be a sign of other mental health challenges and conditions…

“Love is a potent force. People with feelings of love experience a rush of dopamine and other powerful brain  chemicals. For some people, these feelings are so powerful that they become obsessed with keeping and controlling the person they love.. One hallmark of  obsessive love is its focus on the partner as an object for ‘consumption’ or ownership, as opposed to an equal… they show little interest in the other’s well-being… Real love involves accepting the  other person and acknowledging their flaws. Obsessive love may involve worship and a refusal to acknowledge any flaws.. Obsessive love sometimes involves a relationship that does not actually exist, such as with a celebrity or a stranger…

“In general, some signs that love is obsessive include:

– an intense preoccupation with the relationship that is disproportionate to  its length

– immediate falling ‘in love’ with new partners, or even with strangers..”-

– this all reads true to your boyfriend?

anita