Dear Lea:

The title of your thread is “Connecting to your body and energies”, and you wrote: “I don’t feel that connection to my body and other humans”. Reads to me that you suffer from what I suffered (a lot): disconnection to my own body and other people. There is a term for it in psychology: dissociation (dis-association) which is synonymous with disconnection.

Wikipedia on dissociation reads: “Dissociation is any of the wide array of experiences, ranging from a mild emotional detachment from the immediate surroundings, to a more severe disconnection from physical and emotional experiences”.

The entry further explains that dissociation exists on a continuum, from  mild to severe. Mild forms are the common daydreaming and spacing out/ getting lost in one own thoughts, not paying attention to what’s in front of you, etc.- these happen to everyone: every person is dissociated some of the time, and more so when tired and distressed. On the other side of the continuum are severe forms of dissociation: dissociative disorders.

Your current dissociation from your own body, from other people could have been triggered by a recent period of stress in your life, could be the pandemic, or it could have been triggered by childhood trauma (as was my case). Or both. I suffered from intense dissociation for many years. I too felt very clumsy- couldn’t get my body to perform movements that required coordination between movements of the legs, arms, shoulders, etc., so any form of disciplined dancing was out of the question.

You wrote that you don’t feel like bonding (another word for connecting or associating with) people, plus, “I’m very hesitant to trust people and show my emotions”- I can relate to this too.

Let me know if my response means something to you, and we can talk  about it more.

anita