Dear anita,

Hello to you and I do hope you are in good health 🙂

I did not see your last response here until today and that too, only because I decided to have a read through all the old threads I posted here with a calmer mindset as I am not so high strung emotionally at this point.

As for your last comment, I do believe you are right. We didn’t experience the specific trials that came with an actual relationship where our lives physically intertwined around each other, not just in the digital world. I did get to know him in a new context/circumstance, and one thing I realized was that intense pressure and being able to juggle many responsibilities at one time is something that is normal for me, and I am able to handle it while maintaining my composure, However, maybe that was not the case for him. And that is okay, because I understand that sometimes, there are certain avenues that people have to grow more in through experience and it’s not often an easy process to go through. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses after all.

Secondly, I realize there is only so far you can go to fight to make a relationship work when so many things work against you – sometimes, it’s better to let go and not hold on because at the end of the day no matter what, we both have our inadequacies and despite this, we both do still deserve to be in happy and truly fulfilling relationships, with people who can be near us. So if I cannot be the person he needs and he cannot be the person I need, then there really is no point in holding on to a relationship is there?

It has been almost 6 months since we broke up and, while I still have not gotten to a point where my thoughts do not stray to him at least once a day, I’m no longer hurting so much that I’m crying every day. For me, this is a significant step, however small. Even though I still get caught in my feelings at times, I’m not giving up with pushing forward and I am slowly but surely learning to live without him. I just keep repeating to myself one thing that both he and you said to me – I deserve better. It took me a while to have it truly sink in, but yes. I do deserve better.

I deleted and removed myself from all social media profiles because I did not want to keep hurting myself by allowing exposure to anything he posted about his new girl. This, at the end of the day, was the one thing that exacerbated all the pain I feel. Posting on social media. And the inability to keep certain information private instead of putting it out in public. Our last conversation was a video call that occurred due to a member of my family having sent him and his new girl a long and quite dramatic message letting out a lot of anger on him and her before blocking them (ex: – “you never deserved someone like her (referring to me), so maybe you do deserve your new girl. Maybe she might love you just enough so that it is convenient for you to handle because otherwise, you would probably just dump her too, the moment she inconveniences you”)

Following this, he told me that his new girl was uncomfortable with him keeping contact with me and he said “I hope you understand”. To be honest, I do. I want to move past this whole ordeal and I can at least respect him for trying to be a reliable and trustworthy man to another woman. I know that I would have absolutely no respect for him otherwise haha.

Currently, I’m committed to investing in my own health and peace of mind. I still hold a lot of love for this man who is my ex and I do not know if my affection for him will ever really disappear – in a way this is heartening to me as I take it as proof that my feelings for him were true and that he was someone dear. But I have more love for myself now and, I believe, a less romanticized idea of relationships. I am spending my days being useful, developing my career and professional skills, engaging in my art work and working to achieve my goals while surrounding myself with people that pour into my happiness and well-being without draining the life out of me.

My warmest regards to you anita, wherever you are! I hope you are well and happy!

MonaD

• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by MonaD.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by MonaD.