Dear Tridha,

I hope the situations will get better soon. As I try to understand you, you had tolerated all of those behaviors from 4.5 years and now you don’t wanna move on with it and the major reason is your child for whom you want to create a better world. And what would that better world be? There seems to be very strong difference in values between you, your husband and his family. You have clearly 2 options ahead. Either you move ahead for divorce (of course you will need to know about child custody) or try an alternate ways to have a clear conversation regarding this with your husband (may be without generalizing your husband response as he did in past). Since your MIL and family is far anyway your husband and you might create a better world for her.

I can really relate to you with my experience. To tell you in brief, I have been grown up with very typical family similar to yours.
My mum had faced so much and even much bad situations from my father (who in those days was submissive to his mum), everyone who saw my mum condition said her to leave my dad. She could not do so because she had a child. She tolerated many things. (Both of them love us so much).. When I talk to her on this, I really wished she had divorced and took step otherwise. But now the situation is different. Things started changing with time. After we started becoming older my dad was more understanding to mum than to grandmother. There are still so much difference in values but they have adjusted to it. I am sharing you this just as a real example that my mother tolerance to situations saved this family and we are all together doing better. Just telling you a different dimension of similar story.

If you want to move on with Divorce, you really need to know about child custody, and if it’s in your favor, it will solve your insecurity. Once you get clear of either of things it will really be helpful to decide what you want.

Sumi