Dear anita,

Im sorry that i didn’t respond sooner to your post. I didn’t have a lot of free time.

I read your answers on this two-page threat and advice that you give to other people are really helpful. I read a lot of articles about HOCD which were really informative and i saw that i have most of the symptoms.

But there is still a big part of me who is struggling with all of this. It is not like it was before, I don’t cry or feel like I did, but i still feel scared and sad when i start thinking about it. For an example, I don’t watch videos where girls are in ( it sound weird) because the first thing that i think about is :” Am i attracted to them?”,” Do i like them?” and then i feel sad and kinda anxious. Another example, few days ago my sister asked me if i wanted to go out with her and her friend. I immediately started to think:” What if i see a girl and i feel attracted to her”. These similar question i ask myself everyday “Do i look or seem like im gay?”, I even try to read books to see if im aroused… I usually try to distract myself by watching things that make me feel happy but even that can’t help me. I started to go out with my friends and that keeps my mind away from all of this but sometimes would still think if im gay. I especially do that when i come back home and i analyze everything. I have read that its best to stop avoiding the situation and face to the problem but i just can’t do it, Im terrified.

I don’t know if im bothering you because i already asked you three times for your help on this website. It just that i don’t know who should i ask for help.

Thank you again in advance.

Marta