Thank you Anita a lot, for taking the time to read my posts. I’ve been thinking about your post the last day. I’m really thankful for hearing your perspective.

It’s hard to describe all that happened and all of my last relationship here, so I feel like some things can give wrong impression. I don’t think I’m a saint. There were times in last relationship when it was perfect, then times when I was more selfish one ( in the period when my infatuation stopped, and his was still strong), and that, especially in the end, times when he was more selfish one. And yes, his selfishness in the end was worse than mine.

I also do think that we wished different things – I think he wanted a relationship, but in terms of seeing each other and dating, which is more understandable in his years. I wanted something more. I did recognize our difference and try to talk it out. After that he changed.. I guess because he was not ready, and he liked it as it is. I took me a month or two to recognize this behavior, and I wouldn’t tolerate it for long.

I do have some problems of my own, when things don’t go the way I planned it, I start being angry, frustrated and I even tend to have childish behavior. I want to change that for myself, so I could enjoy life more.

I agree that because of my last experiences, I may tend to, as you said – take nice gestures and words of men to mean that the men were genuinely nice and kind, while that may not be the case. I’ll try to take your advice and be more careful and the future and also to find more mature man, who want the same things as I do.

I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m ready to talk about my childhood on online forum, however I am aware that some of my relationship problems  may have their cause in my childhood issues, I do plan to taking some counseling because of that.