Dear miyoid:

In your original post you wrote: “I’ve had a depressed childhood as well. I was rarely happy”.

In your most recent post you wrote: “he gets weird mood swings, I’ve never seen him angrier.. He is also… He thinks.. he said.. He meant.. He slowly started to.. I decided for now it’s not my job to say anything to him… I’ll search for ways to make us feel better again. We just need some hope in our lives, especially him”.

My concerns:

1. Living with him is keeping you depressed  because he too is a depressed person.

2. You are so used to being depressed, since childhood, that you don’t know there is a different way to live. Not perceiving a life without depression, you stay with him.

I see your advantage in living with him being perhaps that you get to focus on him (“He thinks.. he said”, etc.), so you notice less your own depression (?)

anita