Thanks a lot Anita, yes that makes sense but the way I’m thinking just seems crazy to me. I mean its not like I want him back, he came back, I then refused to take him back, a fact that very frankly I’m very proud of. Some days when I feel low, the only thing that makes me feel good is that for the first time in 5 years I put my self-value and self-love and respect above my love and want for him. So its not exactly that I want the nest to be there. I am also open to building another nest, my mind’s open to the idea at least, but its like I also don’t want to forget that nest, end that nest’s sanctity. But then i fear that this will just make me miserable, hanging between the past and present like this.

I think I just need to accept that that nest is gone and completely open my heart and mind to building a new nest without wanting to hold a piece of the old nest within me and that is what I’m having a problem with. I mean sometimes I feel angry, angry with myself over wanting to remember fondly a man who only hurt me. I don’t know if this makes sense, maybe I’ll think a little more about your perspective, sleep over it and get back to you. Thank you so much for taking out the time, it’s like i was just fighting with myself all this while and I now I have a few people who can help me do this better.