Thanks all for the advice.

@sammy – wow that was perceptive and accurate. You are so clued in and insightful! And certainly a long stretch from the bottom of a dark and deep bottle a few weeks back, I definitely think you’re making progress.

As for me, I’m struggling, for all the reasons you listed above probably. I am absolutely faking being a high value woman, no wonder they bolt when the facade falls. But my issue is that I THOUGHT I was good to myself. I thought I was good solo, I’ve been looking after myself this past year, quitting my old job, travelling, enjoying freedom to make any choice I want.

I was journaling, meditating, spending time with friends and family, going to therapy, reading insightful blogs and books, I don’t know how else I am to cultivate this sense of self worth so that I don’t keep falling back to the pattern of insecurity and anxiety.

We have been texting back and forth today but nothing remotely flirty or romantic. I called him tonight, chatting about our days but nothing too exciting, I tried some flirty banter which we used to engage in and it kinda just fell flat. He was heading for a walk & said he’d call me back when he returned but he just text one or two word texts, I asked did he wanna call back and he said he’s just gonna watch some tv and hit the hay.

For everyone reading this now- screaming at me…. oooooh defo sounds like he’s brushing you off…..I know. I can see it in some ways.

Ugh, why can’t things be straight forward. Why all of a sudden am I feeling like this, how do I rectify it. Taking a big long period of time off to ‘find myself’ just seems like what I literally have been doing. Honestly I feel like I’ve not stopped working on myself in years, so what’s gonna give?

I’m upset tonight & im sick of it. Sick of feeling this way. It hurts and I’m tired of it. Tired of feeling like a glass chandelier that anyone touches will end up breaking.