Dear Lily:

You wrote: “I also have to evaluate now, what works for me. People are different and there are different solutions to every problem. I hope you are O.K. with this”- I am very much okay with you evaluating what works for you.

As far as people being different and there being different solutions to every problem- this is true in some contexts and untrue in other contexts:

– People are all different as far as the collections of foods they like and don’t like, for example, but all people are the same as far as needing to connect with other people (being social animals, that is)

– to some problems there are different solutions, for example, if ten people are overweight and want to lose weight, then there are indeed 10 different best solutions best fitting the 10 individuals. On the the other hand, if a problem is that a person is being repeatedly abused by another,  and there is a way for the abused person to leave the relationship with the abuser, then there is only one solution: to leave.

You wrote about having met K: “At least now I know that he doesn’t hate me, that he is well and that we parted amicably. That will be a huge consolation to me”-

– It thought that you already parted amicably with him before, and  that he told you that he was doing well. Maybe you think of this time as the .. final time, the final meeting.. But why did you write that it “will be” a huge consolation to you do you mean that you will need to check in the future if he is still doing well?

anita