Hello Rose of Yellow,

Thankyou for taking the time to write to me. I agree with your defintion of high maintenance which was:  someone who takes and doesn’t give, who needs constant attention and validation or praise. I feel I am needy and do like a lot of attention and feel lost without praise. It is not a good part of me and I have been trying to be more self sufficient.

Thankyou for your reply about indigo children. I had not heard that idea before so had a google. I am not sure I am an indigo child, in the past i had thought maybe i was more “old soul” as I’m a Capricorn but actually I feel i can be very stubborn and immature and naive in life so I think that’s probably not actually true.

I just have like a ball of loneliness wherever I go. I could spend the whole day with colleagues and get in the car to go home and want to just cry as it feels like no one has actually “seen” me even though they would be talking to me about work etc. Or I can be at my boyfriends family parties and just feel invisible and like I want to run upstairs and cry in the bathroom. I just dont feel connected to anyone really. I had an ex I felt so emotionally connected to but he is married now with children but it’s like I’m trying to look for THAT feeling everywhere and getting frustrated and sad I can’t find it again.

Thankyou for your suggestions about doing things that interest me, learning new things and attending a book club. I have thought of joining a book club for a while so it’s a good incentive for me to do that now. I also read alot of philosophy and spiritual books currently or books about loneliness too. Thankyou again for replying.