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Dear Jenny:
You shared in your recent two posts that you spoke to your mother, “poured out all”, and she “understood it, apologized, we cried together over phone”, and for the first time in your life, you felt “safe…as if I’ve won a battle than I’ve ever felt.. safer than I’ve ever felt”, and that now, you “can take anything that life throws” at you.
You shared that “on the whole”, you are “feeling better, free, confident.. less constant questioning”, but you’re still thinking whether L will ever think of you, or “will I just be forgotten’?.. if I’ll be his ‘one that got away’ Will I be that Anita?”
A year into the breakup, you wanted him to “at least see the hurt he gave me and make him call me”, and indeed he called you “upteen times, from multiple numbers, on multiple platforms, every week, for 9 whole months”, after you told him not to. “The universe gave me what I’d asked for.. the universe has my back”.
In a post to a member today, you wrote: “try and keep faith in the Universe’s/God’s plan for you. Believe that the Universe has your back… Trust that whatever is best for you will happen. Trust that the Universe will find a way to guide you”.
This is my understanding of you, Jenny, at this point, and it is my understanding bases on what I believe to be true: you are stuck in old hurt and in magical thinking. There is no Universe/ God, and there is no “Universe’s/God’s plan for you or for any individual on the face of this earth. You are I are here alone- and together- to make better choices for our lives. There is no magic, no answers to prayers. There is only our choices, individually and collectively, paving the way to worse or better life experience.
This magical thinking of Universe/God, an entity who cares about individuals’ thinking and feelings, guiding every one of the billions of individuals on earth makes people temporarily feel better, but long term, it keeps people stuck as they wait for that magical entity to make life.. make sense.
You wrote here: “Yes, my In letting everything related to L go, I will gain a brand-new chance at life, and with the lessons learnt in the past, I can make it so much better than my past”- I agree, you can make your life better by making individual choices based on what you learned in life. But you will not make your life better by waiting for symbols and guidance from an entity that does not exist.
Again, this is based on what I believe to be true.
anita