Dear Lily:

I made a mistake in my last post to you when I wrote: “traveling, and public transportation (airplanes, airports, trains, buses..) are super spreaders”.  I want to correct myself. First, this is how Wikipedia explains these terms:

1. A superspreader: an unusually contagious organism infected with a disease. In the context  of a human-borne illness, a superspreader is an individual who is more likely to infect others, compared with a typical infected person.

Superspreaders have been identified who excrete a higher than normal number of pathogens during the time they are infectious. This causes their contacts to be exposed to higher viral/ bacterial loads than would be seen in contacts of non-superspreaders with the same duration of exposure.

2. A superspreader event (SSEV): an event in which an infectious disease is spread much more than usual.

From what I read today, there were studies in Japan, Paris, Italy and more places perhaps- and no SSEV were traced to trains and other forms of public transportation when (1) masks are worn, (2) social distancing is kept, (3) people don’t touch surfaces, and disinfect their hands, (4) the air is well-ventilated.

SSEV take place when 1-4 are not kept, which happens especially where people spend a lot of time close to each other, talking, singing, laughing etc., such as in a church choir, a restaurant, and especially in bars where people under the influence of some alcohol get closer to each other, talk loudly, laugh, etc.

Of course, whether you take the train to visit your parents is your choice. Regarding using public transportation to go to work, I would use it if I was you (if 1-4 above are kept) because the ride is short (correct?)- the shorter the ride, the lesser the risk.

Back to my mistake, the correction is: public transportation when well-ventilated, and when masks are worn, when social distancing and hygiene practices are kept, do not lead to superspreader events.

Regarding the feeling in your chest- I too have that feeling and a bit of panic from time to time, being afraid that Covid took hold of my lungs, a fear that didn’t materialize yet. I bet a lot of people have the same fear and panic once in a while. But maybe you should get tested, if you can (?)

Your roommate did not leave because of you! I am glad you are relieved. Regarding your “lots of anxiety and stress” about.. him showing in your WhatsApp update and checking his profile picture and whatnot- your therapist is probably right- your loneliness is causing this, or partly causing it.

You stated and asked: “It only causes me stress. I want to end this forever and stop thinking about him. How do I overcome such an obsession?.. I really want to heal from this and move on”- I want to give you my thoughts about this after I re-read some of our previous communication that is relevant to this issue, and that will be in a few hours from now.

anita