Dear Lily:

“I am sorry that you had to go through that! Nobody deserves to be mistreated like this!”- and I am sorry that you had to go through what you did with the dormitory man, you did not deserve to be mistreated like that!

“I wish that someone had taught me before that I was valuable and that I am allowed to say no. I wish that these things were talked about more in our society”- for a child, her parents are society. What did your/ my parents teach us? Did they respect our “no” (whether our “no” was a word or expressed as fear and tears)?

When our parents repeatedly did not respect our No, not in a sexual context- we learned to not protest much later on, in a sexual context.

“We may have not have had a good first experience with men, but that doesn’t mean that it has to end this way. You are happily married, aren’t you?”- yes I am, and I am still healing from my past experience, it still hurts.

“I am not willing to give up. I am not dead yet..”- reading this just made my day, and it is not just any day: it is Christmas Day!

“He (dormitory man) thought that he was being so nice to me?”- not likely. Some people are that selfish that they go for what they want without caring how it affects others.

You mentioned snow and I just realized that it all melted here, so it is not a White Christmas after all!

You are welcome and thank you for your very-merry-Christmas wish for me. I hope you have a good after- Christmas night.

anita