I am so glad you suggested it may be re-experiencing. I have not looked at my episodes in this way and it makes perfect sense to me. I see this as my self trying to process past trauma. Often when i’m having these episodes my life story viewed from the perspective of a powerless victim is running parallel in my mind to the emotional experience happening in my body. Trauma is stored in the body. Therefore my taxes, relationship attempts, or any significant hardship turn out to be triggers for past trauma. The trigger being the feeling of powerlessness, such as i felt as child. The implication here is that i have not actually processed my trauma and reconnected with my authentic self that was suppressed as child?

I think it is interesting and personally extremely frustrating that I can’t figure this out on my own. It’s not like this is new information to me. I just cant see it objectively as an outsider can. Honestly i don’t even trust anyone’s objective opinion except you and my therapist. Probably because niether one of you make me feel like i’m crazy for being the way i am, whereas other people just don’t empathize very well.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by noname.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by noname.