dear anita,

your post means a lot to me.

You really have no idea how much that means to me.

i am a catholic and started to live like a true catholic.

also, i found an amazing guy’s blog in which he addresses this issues, that really helped me a lot

https://bobswriting.com/psych/abusers.html

I am going to do a lot of social service. i going to volunteer prison visits because only in the grace of god I am sitting at my home with my amazing parents and not at jail.

also I some how was able to forgive myself by telling myself i was a child then and since there was no harm or force or any predatory behaviour involved, i was somehow able to think that as a normal experimentation.

also anita there were not some persons like you existed, i really have no idea what would’ve happened.

also i am started to take anti depressent before a day ago and going to continue until around for 15 days as recommended by my psychiatrist.

i understand that what i did was not right but now i consider this oppurtunity as something given to me by god to have a good life and reach path of heaven . i never justify my acts as correct but i really thank god because i did that when i was a child myself and the guilt i had after that made me realized how much good , moral man i am and how much protective and loving husband and dad i am going to be.

i am now pretty sure that i will never ever do anything to anyone as i know how does commiting a crime feel like and thankgod i was not mature back then and i could say that to myself to explain my behaviour.

i belive in god and i hope he will help me to lead a better life.

i don’t know if i would ever come here to post anything or say anything but if anyone reading this done something like this , understand your intention was not to do harm or do anything bad as a person is said to be rapist because he know what he is doing and he is doing harm to the society, to the victim . those persons are disgrace to the world. whereas we did that something that we don’t know it is going to be such a crime and we just were curious. again cocsa is not legal and i am not promoting any illegal activities but what i am trying to say is there is still hope.

once i was planning to commit suicide and only then i realized how much good man i am and i started to consider this as a oppurtunity to be a good human and good catholic

and yeah as i said getting away from porn and masturbation is not going to be easy but with the grace of god i think i could do anything.

again anita i really can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing and again thankyou somuch for the time you take to do this.

also i can able to stop feeling guilty and shame  about this by thinking how much good man i am now and i am going to be.

cheers to all of your future. god bless you all

sorry if my english is messed up as it is not my first language

i would love to hear your thought on this

thankyou all!