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vincent

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #374484
    vincent
    Participant

    dear anita,

    your post means a lot to me.

    You really have no idea how much that means to me.

    i am a catholic and started to live like a true catholic.

    also, i found an amazing guy’s blog in which he addresses this issues, that really helped me a lot

    https://bobswriting.com/psych/abusers.html

    I am going to do a lot of social service. i going to volunteer prison visits because only in the grace of god I am sitting at my home with my amazing parents and not at jail.

    also I some how was able to forgive myself by telling myself i was a child then and since there was no harm or force or any predatory behaviour involved, i was somehow able to think that as a normal experimentation.

     

    also anita there were not some persons like you existed, i really have no idea what would’ve happened.

     

    also i am started to take anti depressent before a day ago and going to continue until around for 15 days as recommended by my psychiatrist.

    i understand that what i did was not right but now i consider this oppurtunity as something given to me by god to have a good life and reach path of heaven . i never justify my acts as correct but i really thank god because i did that when i was a child myself and the guilt i had after that made me realized how much good , moral man i am and how much protective and loving husband and dad i am going to be.

    i am now pretty sure that i will never ever do anything to anyone as i know how does commiting a crime feel like and thankgod i was not mature back then and i could say that to myself to explain my behaviour.

    i belive in god and i hope he will help me to lead a better life.

     

    i don’t know if i would ever come here to post anything or say anything but if anyone reading this done something like this , understand your intention was not to do harm or do anything bad as a person is said to be rapist because he know what he is doing and he is doing harm to the society, to the victim . those persons are disgrace to the world. whereas we did that something that we don’t know it is going to be such a crime and we just were curious. again cocsa is not legal and i am not promoting any illegal activities but what i am trying to say is there is still hope.

    once i was planning to commit suicide and only then i realized how much good man i am and i started to consider this as a oppurtunity to be a good human and good catholic

    and yeah as i said getting away from porn and masturbation is not going to be easy but with the grace of god i think i could do anything.

    again anita i really can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing and again thankyou somuch for the time you take to do this.

    also i can able to stop feeling guilty and shame  about this by thinking how much good man i am now and i am going to be.

     

    cheers to all of your future. god bless you all

    sorry if my english is messed up as it is not my first language

    i would love to hear your thought on this

    thankyou all!

    #374485
    vincent
    Participant

    dear anita,

    your post means a lot to me.

    You really have no idea how much that means to me.

    i am a catholic and started to live like a true catholic.

    also, i found an amazing guy’s blog in which he addresses this issues, that really helped me a lot

    https://bobswriting.com/psych/abusers.html

    I am going to do a lot of social service. i going to volunteer prison visits because only in the grace of god I am sitting at my home with my amazing parents and not at jail.

    also I some how was able to forgive myself by telling myself i was a child then and since there was no harm or force or any predatory behaviour involved, i was somehow able to think that as a normal experimentation.

    also anita there were not some persons like you existed, i really have no idea what would’ve happened.

    also i am started to take anti depressent before a day ago and going to continue until around for 15 days as recommended by my psychiatrist.

    i understand that what i did was not right but now i consider this oppurtunity as something given to me by god to have a good life and reach path of heaven . i never justify my acts as correct but i really thank god because i did that when i was a child myself and the guilt i had after that made me realized how much good , moral man i am and how much protective and loving husband and dad i am going to be.

    i am now pretty sure that i will never ever do anything to anyone as i know how does commiting a crime feel like and thankgod i was not mature back then and i could say that to myself to explain my behaviour.

    i belive in god and i hope he will help me to lead a better life.

    i don’t know if i would ever come here to post anything or say anything but if anyone reading this done something like this , understand your intention was not to do harm or do anything bad as a person is said to be rapist because he know what he is doing and he is doing harm to the society, to the victim . those persons are disgrace to the world. whereas we did that something that we don’t know it is going to be such a crime and we just were curious. again cocsa is not legal and i am not promoting any illegal activities but what i am trying to say is there is still hope.

    once i was planning to commit suicide and only then i realized how much good man i am and i started to consider this as a oppurtunity to be a good human and good catholic

    and yeah as i said getting away from porn and masturbation is not going to be easy but with the grace of god i think i could do anything.

    again anita i really can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing and again thankyou somuch for the time you take to do this.

    also i can able to stop feeling guilty and shame  about this by thinking how much good man i am now and i am going to be.

    cheers to all of your future. god bless you all

    sorry if my english is messed up as it is not my first language

    i would love to hear your thought on this

    thankyou all!

    #374476
    vincent
    Participant

    also anita,  I would really appreciate if you could tell what make me different from any sexual predator or a phedophile

    if there are any . thankyou

    #374474
    vincent
    Participant

    i watch porn when they are not around  so they don’t know about its

    #374473
    vincent
    Participant

    dear anita,

    first of all thankyou somuch for your time you are taking.

    my parents don’t know weather i watch porn.

    i watched porn until before 2 months. now i repent myself to god and stopped watching porn or masturbating.

    again can you please tell me do i deserve forgiveness? thankyou for your time anita

    #374441
    vincent
    Participant

    anita, i did that

    please reply there

    #374440
    vincent
    Participant

    anita, as you said i started a new thread without any graphic detail. please help me

     

    thankyou

    #374361
    vincent
    Participant

    dear anita,

     

    thankyou somuch for what you are doing. so i am going to share something that happened when I was 12 or 13 or 14

     

    so i discovered about pornography when i was around 11 i guess. My story is somewhat similar to the guy david

     

    i only came to know what sex and masturbation was around a month or two before this incident. still i had a lot of question about it.

     

     

    so there was this neighbour girl who is 7 years younger than me. one day she came to my house wearing a frock and i noticed she was not wearing any kind of under garment. i was on a bed and she started to sit on me and do some drawing. when she did that i started to touch her private parts and then started to masturbate myself. There was no force or threat or coercion involved. i don’t remember any penetration. she didn’t even know that i did this to her.  The next event occured next day. the next day i did the around the same thing.

     

    actually i never even had the idea that it was wrong or a crime during that time.

    but i had this thought of that my mom will schould me if she ever find outl

    thats all i never did anything again like that.

     

    now i am 18. i was around a month ago came to know about the term Phedophiles and when i learned more about them, I suddenly came to this thought

     

    i could accept that it was my age and harmones and i made stupid mistakes. but something is making me compare myself with a child molester or a rapist. i feel I am the kind of person who don’t deserve to live

     

    by any chance anita, if you ever sees this post please reply. also please tell me weather should create a new thread without the graphic details.

    also by anychance if anyone who had similar experiance who successfully got recovered from this, please let me know how you did that.

    I am pretty sure she don’t even know if this happened and also i am pretty sure that she is very happy and she often used to play with her. i never really got this thought. i have no attraction to children and i am blessd with a good parents and i am their only child . i often feel like i made them failed as a parents.

     

    I hope i could live the life that i had before this thought come to me.

     

    again please someone say if they ever able to get rid of the guilt

     

    thankyou all!

     

    have a great day!!!!

    #374363
    vincent
    Participant

    Hello david, by anychance if you ever sees this post can you please tell me weather have you able to recover from the thought. i had somewhat similar encounter when i was 12 or 13 . i am 18 and now i want to kill myself. also anita i would really appreciate if you could help me

     

    thankyou

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)