I also feel like I’m in denial as well. I wish this never happened cause I’m not sure how to make a radical decision. His behaviors are just some trials to feel alive. He wants to be dead almost every second. I’m sure when he wakes up (I won’t be home ofc) he’ll remember what happened at night and he’ll want to kim himself. I doubt he’ll do that. But I know he’ll feel terrible for making me cry again. Also I’ve never felt dumbed because of being cheated on before, this is the first time I feel dumbed.