Dear Neverdyed:

You are welcome.  You wrote that you remember as a child hearing your mother say one time that your father was “treating the home/ house like a hotel”.  Her suggestion was that your father was selfish, that he came into the house when he needed a cooked meal, a shower and sleep in a clean bed, using her as his cook, server and maid, and that left the house for everything else that he needed, whenever he wanted.

Eight months ago, on June 12  2020, you wrote regarding your mother: “I just can’t stand her aggressive attitude during a fight, and I’ve adopted my father’s silent but passive aggressive way”-

– this means that your childhood home was not like a hotel for your father, because a hotel is a place where the workers (receptionists, cooks, servers, cleaners, etc.)  do not fight with the customers. I suppose your childhood home was not like a hotel for your father after all, was it?

In regard to the man in your life,  you are suggesting that he may be entering and leaving your life as if you were a hotel, using you for what he needs at the moment. What hotel-like services are you providing him?

anita