Dear patelh,

It seems to me that your husband has low self-esteem, and that’s why it’s important for him to be accepted and not judged by his family. When they criticize you, for him it might be as if they are criticizing him – that his choice of wife wasn’t good, that he was wrong, that he’s not good enough, he’s not meeting their expectations… So probably he feels not good enough, but then immediately blames you for that – he believes it’s your fault that he feels bad about himself.  If you would only change, he would feel better about himself. At least that was what my cousin’s husband was claiming…

If you want to make things work with your husband, I think he would need to realize that his biggest enemy is himself: his lack of self-confidence and his need to get his family’s approval. If he could work on himself, he’d almost certainly become less judgemental and more respectful of you.