Dear Felix,

There’s something else I’d like to add. When you say you’ve forgiven your parents and love them unconditionally, without actually having done the inner child work, you’re invalidating the feelings of that inner child. You’re telling your younger self that it doesn’t matter that he was hurt by the actions of your parents (“My parents did some bad stuff in the past when I was younger. And by bad, I don’t abuse or something terrible in that sense. I mean neglect and absence of love and care.“)

Emotional neglect can be very hard on the child, because we feel unseen and unappreciated. From what you’ve written, your parents didn’t see the real you, but were only interested in superficial things. (“They are so different that if we weren’t related I would not look in their direction and they would not look in mine. They are obsessed with wealth, superficial things, Kardashian culture, and truly believe that only material wealth brings true happiness. I am 100% opposite of that.”)

They most likely didn’t appreciate the real you, because they weren’t in touch with their authentic selves either. So you probably felt not understood and very alone. Actually you said it yourself: “The ONLY thing that still bothers me through all my actualization, realization, etc., is my aloneness. It has been with me since the beginning of time.”

I imagine that you felt alone since the beginning of time because your parents never saw the real you, nor were they interested in the real you.

“What matters is that I am learning to love myself, not in a vain selfish kind of a way, but in a way where I see that my mind, body, and my consciousness are starting to work together in unison.”

If you want to truly love yourself, you need to embrace your wounded inner child. You need to validate his feelings, validate his pain, and truly see him, rather than push him away (which is quite the opposite of how your parents treated you). Only then can you truly love yourself.