Hi TeaK

When I use the words Unconditional Love I associate them with accountability and healthy boundaries. One can love someone unconditionally and still hold them accountable for who they are. That is not a paradox If we don’t get to be held accountable for who we are and what we do then we don’t get to experience purpose or meaning. If we don’t’ get to experience that we wont experience being Loved.

A task of individualization, becoming, requires coming to terms with the mother and father complexes. Part of that process is pulling back our shadow projections and ‘becoming our own mother and father’, learn to nurture and protect ourselves. Or set healthy boundaries. Having the best or worse parent, the task is the same. Finding peace with our parents inevitable failures while creating healthy boundaries. From what I read Felix has done the work and found his way.

The memory of the pain we felt as we step on the piece of glass is just that a memory. Perhaps their is even a scar and a lesson to be more careful around broken glass. I can let go of any anger or disappointment I may have had about glass, maybe more so because it was broken.  I don’t have to hold on to the memory, dwell on it forever in order to maintain healthy boundaries.  I can honor the inner child without clinking onto memory which may be a ego wish  ‘if only’ things were different.

Like Felix I’m not talking about abuse but the inevitable things family do that hurt us. Its hard for family to see it’s members as they are outside the context of family.  We need our parents and siblings to play their role and when they step out of them, it can cause us pain. But that’s not about them that’ s about us.  Ad we grow we can I think let that part go and love them just because their ours. No longer demanding or need them to play this or that role for us just as we may no longer have to play the roles assigned to us.  That will still require healthy boundaries.