That’s great Anita. My parents also got their first vaccination shot and are feeling the same.

What you’re saying makes a lot of sense, the analogy between my mother and R, that is. Also, the fact about a guy unlike both of them, not making me feel that attachment, very true. I think I also had fallen in the ‘running after people who are emotionally unavailable to me’ trap.

But then, my question is,
– How do I come out of this ‘desire’? I am talking about my parents and childhood with a therapist and things are coming up and getting a little detangled slowly but surely, so when I hopefully detangle all of my childhood knots, will this desire and attachment related to R also go away or do I need to do something else for this?

Lastly, I think I’m also putting too high an expectation. I remember in the earlier posts both Peter and you helped me see how my desire to erase R and all the memories is unrealistic. He’s a past part of my life and I’ve to move forward from that, not fight it. I feel now that as long as I am able to think of him as my past and go about my day without his thought impeding me in any substantial way, I’m good. And there, I’ve already reached. So maybe I should also stop fretting so much and finding some meaning behind every passing thought about him. What do you think?

Love,

Jenny