Hi Anita,

Your thoughts on my situation are always welcome.

I did look up limerence and viewed a video from a psychologist on what exactly a limerence relationship is.  It indicated that the person in limerence feels they are responsible for what is happening in the relationship, that they are jealous, and there is a fear of not being together.  There is a “halo effect” meaning “I see no flaws about my partner”.  That a person also changes themselves to make the other person happy, and thinks of their partner about 85% of their day.  Objects given by the partner are cherished.  It’s usually a relationship that lasts about 3 months to 3 years.

I don’t have any of these qualities associated with my relationship regarding him.  I feel he is flawed, he is responsible for what has happened in the relationship, and I don’t fear not being with him.  I have told him I can live without him.  I have thrown away everything he has ever given me, cards have been thrown out, photos shredded.  I have nothing of his in my house; no cherished items.

I am adhering to what my psychologist told me….keep your eyes wide open and your feet on the ground.  I’m not holding onto hope; I’m watching and observing.  If things work out, they work out.  If they don’t, they don’t.  I’m not a starry eyed teenager.

I know in the end I’ll be ok.  I have my family, friends, and much love and support.  Thank you for yours!

Katie