Hi Brandy,

100% and yes, I know Frankl’s story quite well. I am not pursuing wealth or fame or success or anything else superficial. I finally have some idea of what I want to do with the rest of my life and I am trying to do something about it. I am being compassionate to myself. I am being decent to myself. I am letting go, but I feel sick because no matter how much I let go, I am still carrying a huge burden and no matter what I tell myself or what I try to do, it’s still there. I am not going to go into self-pity mode about not having this or that. I’ll just say that I am giving up in terms of wu-wei. I am letting the flow of life take over and see what happens. I am doing what I can, in terms of job search, studying, friends, family, etc., and everything else is no longer going to stress me out. Whatever happens, happens. It’s helping me, but I have not found the magic formula where I can fully let go and just be present. I get it theoretically and conceptually, but practically I am still in pain. Hopefully time will help, shrink will help, and meditation will help. I can’t set different goals now because I am finally doing what I want to do on all fronts. I don’t want to change that part, I need to change the worrying part, the pain of the past, the betrayal, etc.