TeaK,

she might be trying to be a protective sister… but she has never in life approved of anyone I have ever been with. Leave my choice in partners. She never liked any decisions made by my parents either. So perhaps she had concern for me but if I chose him knowing all of his past, I feel she could have talked to me instead of making life difficult for me to the point that I chose to write anonymously on a forum to know whether I was wrong in hating her interference in my life.

Forget then, I spoke to her 3 weeks back because my ex struggled to make a decision so I decided I should make one for both of us. I called her and spoke to her frankly that I have to make a decision in his regard so I want to know everything from your end. All reasons for disapproving him. Her reason was can’t you leave him because I am saying so? I said I need to give him a reason for breaking up the relation so please tell me. If you care about me, you will talk to me about it so that I can make a well-informed decision. The only reason she spoke of then was that he has many debts to clear (it was true when they knew one another but he cleared all of the family debts as he worked past two years) and so is not a good match.

She made it a point to discuss the fact that he had a crush on her in front of my parents so it wasn’t something that was a secret to anyone apart from my younger brother. And this was another thing that made him insecure that my parents knew all this. And since it was from her perspective so obviously the narration had a few added elements as well.

I am not saying he is a saint and my sister is the devil but I feel it isn’t the other way round as well. All three of us are flawed with our insecurities and issues and our over-imaginative brains. I am speaking the truth that if he says that he never wanted to be involved with my sister…. I had celebrated the day my sister left for college like a festival. But unfortunately, the torment went on for much longer than that.

I just was so involved in the idea of us siblings like an unbreakable unit even if one of us treated us poorly as fed to us by our mum….even now when I say I will be present in her marriage and wish her the best but I won’t keep contact with her later, my mum breaks down in tears saying- don’t say this, you know how she is! how will she survive with her bad temper, without her siblings once we are gone??

I don’t know the answer to that but I have stayed being selfless and nothing but hurt came my way, I want to try being selfish too for sometime.