The child psychiatrist thought my anxiety stems from a lack of control, so forcing me to do things and thus removing me being in control would only make it worse. I’ve been forcing my self to do things that terrifies me, and I have done so since i was a child. But i have to be the one in control. So attending school being bullied and beaten was bad enough, it was like having one never ending anxiety attack, but you can’t remove yourself from the situation. But doing presentations was like my worst nightmare, still is, I asked to not do them because that would have been too much for me, I wasn’t ready for a challenge that big. But my teachers said that i shouldn’t be weak, and if your afraid of something you just gotta do it, and if you refuse we are gonna make you do it. That’s why I ended up cutting in my wrist. This was a a time where my sister had it the worst, screaming from pain for hours a day asking to die, being devalued and compared to my cousins by my grandmother and losing all my friends. So doing a presentation in an unsafe environment was too much and I snaped.