Hi Teak,

Thank you for your reply. What you are saying definitely makes sense. I have been closed-off emotionally since I was young. My mom, who knows me the best, says I am a very emotional person but I don’t show it. I agree with you. There wasn’t much time to talk about my feelings.. My home was chaotic and there were more important things to worry about than my feelings i.e. paying rent, getting food on the table, my dad etc. We were definitely living in survival mode which made me disregard my feelings and grow up quickly.

Yes, school was my safe place. I really loved school. I was consistently at the top of my class, won several awards and had a great relationship with my teachers and peers. I felt happiest there. It kind of made me forget my living situation and that I was from a low-income family, and made me feel equal to my peers. I agree I am confident in my academics.. professors and employers describe me as intellectual and advanced for my level. I am confident in who I am as a person, I think I have a good relationship with myself. Haha, it is funny you say “low-maintenance.” My current boyfriend described me like that (in a positive way) early into our relationship, saying his friends’ girlfriends were very demanding.

Yes, my boyfriend’s family is very demanding of his time but he lets it happen. I know he likes spending time and talking with them too, so it’s definitely not one-sided. Yes, this is where I’m feeling difficulty. Feeling emotionally connected to my partner is necessary for me to feel romance and security in him. I know I am a deep person, and I love to talk about feelings and experiences and just understanding people. He is very intellectual and we can have great conversations, but it just doesn’t happen often. Probably because we interact so infrequently. I think that if we both put in the time, we would be very compatible mentally (despite dissimilar interests). I appreciate the way his mind works and we think in a similar way. I think that if he committed the time he commits to his family to me, we could have a very fulfilling relationship. But that does not happen and it makes our relationship feel mediocre to me. I don’t like asking for attention, very strange feeling for me.