Oh @Jay2023, it’s okay to admit you feel down again.

What worries me is how frequently your mood swings, have you had a diagnosis of clinical depression? I know you’re on medication but was that for anxiety? It may be time to see the doctor and have a few health checks if you haven’t already done so, to determine if there’s a hormonal imbalance,  thyroid or any other medical issue that may be causing these extreme mood fluctuations. Do you keep a mood journal? That may help spot triggers. Have you been sleeping properly over last few days?

Really hoping your therapy comes through for you ASAP! In the meantime, you’re not alone,  you need to remember that. If it is of any value Danny and I care and want you to be happy.

What may have happened is you communicated with someone new because you are very LONELY. It gave you that temporary boost of confidence but you’re not ready internally to give and be vulnerable to someone new. So the feeling wore off and unfortunately that doesn’t stop that craving and missing the feelings of being in a relationship; holding hands, cuddles, having that one person to talk to daily. You see couples and it causes you pain, you want to be in love. So your spiral begins again. You associate all those love feelings you want with her because she was the last one you were with, but the reality is and your rational side tries to understand you deserve a woman who WANTS you, who CARES about you and SPOILS and CHOOSES you!

You’re suffering withdrawal from the highs of those feelings rather than her as a person imo. You kind of said it yourself ” I still terribly miss all the good parts and those feelings”

It would be understandable to keep going in circles if she was a ‘B’ kind of person who supported you, cared etc. and you messed it up. I’d actually probably encourage you to put pride aside and reconnect. But honestly Jay you didn’t lose anything here. She lost out. Trust me, you will feel those romantic feelings again and with the right person they will be even more potent.

I’m going to ask you a simple question; What do you want? Answer it instinctively.

Also don’t be so hard on yourself for your search of her number, we all do things like that in throes of heartbreak. Did you see her picture and did it make you feel better?  Let’s not forget the bigger picture your ability to love so unconditionally. You care still and that is precious. With the right one it will be beautiful like what Danny and his fiancé have. A love that withstands the tests and keeps growing! You deserve that x

Can you tag me because I don’t want to miss your posts x