Dear IkO9:

May 10, 2021: “It sometimes feels like it has been years since we broke up when it has only been a month”. I think that it feels like years because of your very strong fear of being alone. Fear makes time feel like forever: “I have a very strong fear of being left alone in life.. loneliness haunts me on weekends especially”, April 10, 2021.

May 10: “I haven’t been sleeping well. It has been more than a week now. I sleep by 4-5 am when I have to work in the morning.. I feel mentally drained and tired”.

I think that your sleep has been disturbed because (1) you can still hear, or you remember the loud arguments that often happen at home: “I  can’t stand loud arguments and physical fights which often happen at home”, April 10, and (2) some of the arguments/ fights happened at night, disturbing your sleep then and now: “my sister shared a room and she often lashed out especially at nights when I was asleep.. I left the room at 3 am and slept in the hall” (April 10).

anita