Dear Ishita:

I am glad you posted again. What I understand is, that your experience with this young man opened a deep wound within you, that of not feeling special enough to be loved in return.

This feeling of not being special enough to be loved back feels like a void. You feel betrayed because your love was not returned, unlovable because he didn’t love you back the way you loved him (the italicized are your chosen words). You experience these things with him for the first time in the context of a romantic/ adult relationship, but it seems to me that you experienced this before, in a different context, and meeting him brought your earlier- life experiences back to your awareness, and it hurts.

It is amazing, isn’t it, how terrible it feels, to feel unloved and unlovable. I am sorry, Ishita. I know the feeling and I know the void. I hope you feel it for way shorter time than I felt it. I know it is possible for you to be loved, even though it doesn’t feel possible at this time. Please do post again, I do want to read more from you.

anita