it appears you experienced love as very conditional and weren’t loved and accepted for who you are

it doesn’t matter, it happened, and nothing will be changed, i was created in a way that guarantee misery, i won’t change, neither is society

Would you like to expand on it a bit more? What happened 3 years ago, when you started feeling this way?

i would like to, but i already did once with antina, there is no point, she ended up ignoring me, when she knew that i don’t wanna change, that i am a lost case, i don’t blame her, i just wished i did wanted to change, i just wished i wasn’t so different, at least i will have the idea that i can be loved, just the idea makes a difference, i really love myself, or at least i try to, but the cost of love when it comes to other people is so high, so expensive for me, and i know, i know there is nothing without a price, i just won’t pay it, even antina, i really great person didn’t wanna continue talking to me, i don’t wanna waste anyone time anymore.