Dear Murtaza,

that believe is based on evidence and a lot of observation

yes, you’ve grown up surrounded by people who were sending you this message, and maybe even the whole society sent you this message. You don’t know anything else. But somewhere in your bones, in the depth of your heart, you know there’s something else. You know that something is wrong with the belief system you grew up in. That’s why you’re writing on various forums, searching, probing… and that’s fine, don’t give up your search!

all this, suggest that i at least think differently from you, and you might have a trouble understanding

In fact, your thinking is not that different than mine, because like you, I wouldn’t be able to settle if I’d need to deny my need for love. I wouldn’t want to change the core of my being so that I could please the society. Because what if the society’s beliefs and a view of love is distorted, and not you?

However, there are aspects where our thinking differs, and it is in the notion of free will. You don’t believe in freewill, I do. If you believe you’re a victim of some programming, and you can’t change the program, then you’re doomed. However, if you can change the program – refuse to believe in certain limiting ideas – you can be free. You have the free will to believe differently, to step out of the “matrix”.

But, you might find it extremely difficult to start believing differently, because this might mean that you need to go against your family, against the norms of your society. This might mean “fighting” and “struggle”, which you absolutely don’t want. You want the easy way, because you saw it around you when growing up. The easy way is to accept those norms and live according to them. And forget the longing of your heart.

i actually have a somehow a decent life, an easy one, one that i don’t have to do anything, one that i live by my rules in it, not other people rules,

Would you care to explain that a little? You have a decent and easy life, you don’t have to do anything, and yet, you don’t live by the society’s rules. How is that possible for you?