Dear TeaK

Thank you once again for replying my thoughts, i really appreciate it.

You said:

“What you can do if you really feel embarrassed about your past activity on social media is to delete your old account and create a new one. You can even take a pause from social media for a while. This will also signal to people that you’ve changed, that something significantly changed about you.”

= Yeah i’ve decrease my time on social media… like i decrease it a lot… and i also dont want to post and more insta stories unless i really have to, because with this personality of mine i will only give myself a headache.

Also i wanna explain more regarding my regret, i said in the previous threads that i show off my father’s “construction business” on my insta stories… like i video/photo the construction site to show people that there’s a lot of house (which means lots of income)…. well it’s true that we have construction business… but the truth is that i exaggerate my post… in which actually the income is also shared with other company… Like i try to show people that our family is doing lots of housing but actually it’s shared with other company.

The truth is our main business is the aquarium store that i mentioned before… but i’m too shy to show it that’s why i keep posting the construction site at that time… as what i mentioned before, people make fun of aquariums and fish….but i’m sure they look at construction as a high standard kind of business….

but then i realized that i shouldnt have post that construction, like in the end people will find out about my aquarium business….

After this explanation regarding the construction business, do u think the solution is still the same? Is it still related to low self esteem?

I also wanna ask regarding the this, as u said before in the previous threads:

“I said that we can text each other everyday like this, but she said she cant… she feels burden and she doesnt want anyone to wait for her.

She told you it would be a burden for her to keep texting with you every day. She has been texting with you since she was 14, which is super young.  She might have liked you as a teenager, but now that she’s a bit older, she doesn’t see you as a potential husband, and she doesn’t want to relate to you romantically. You’d need to accept that and free both her and yourself from expectations. When you accept that she’s not having romantic feelings for you, you won’t obsess about what photos you post on social media…”

= What u said is true… she said it’s a burden to keep texting with my everyday, but it’s not because she doesnt want to relate to me romantically.

She said that because if we keep chatting everyday she’ll end up liking me more (most people keeps saying that she said this to reject me, but it’s not true… she really said it honestly (if u dont believe my opinion here… let’s just assume it’s true))… it’s because that her parents forbid her to have a relationship now as she’s still young and she’ll be living our city for uni… she said to me that time that we are separated… and if we keep chatting everyday and she is forbid to have relationship it’ll be pointless and she dont want me to wait because it’ll be a burden…

then at that time i asked her “so u want me to find another girl?”… she said she cant answer it, then i asked her again when u said u love me do u really mean it? and she said yes. She then said again, tbh i really want to be with you but what should i do… i cant be in relationship and i dont want both of us to end up getting hurt due to this situation… She then said to me again I really like you but what can i do in this situation… Then due to this situation, she said that she wants to focus on uni and getting a job… she’ll try to get a job in that city where her uni (my uni too) is. If she fails to get it there, she’ll come back to our city… (her parents told her that she can only live in that city or our city because her parents wont let her go too far… as that city isnt far from our city.. and she’s a person who follows what her parents said).

Then i said to her that if we’re meant to be with each other then we will be together…. then she said okay…

Then since sept 2020 we stop contacting each other everyday… we only text each other on our birthdays and that’s it. After that i know that my only hope, if i really want to be with her is only when she has graduated… but it’s gonna take 4 years… and even though i like her so much…. i know that i shouldnt be waiting for her….

I’ll try finding myself a girl till her graduate …..i’m serious in finding here… not only to distract me of her… if i can really be happy with the girl i find before her graduate then thank god… i’ll definitely forget about her. But till now i havent found a girl yet… so due to that when i have a free time, i’ll have thoughts that what if she gets attracted to boys in her uni…. i really wanna stop my head thinking constantly like that as it’s so tiring…..

And she did text me on my birthday few days ago. She even text me before i post my birthday stories on my instagram, so she still remembers my birthday.

After that in instagram, i saw her liking posts stating that she misses someone she used to talk everyday like i find it accidentally while scrolling random feeds (i’ve found her liki…. this is not me being over confident but she hasnt entered uni yet, so im sure it’s me. But this october she’s entering uni.

I hope that my explanation here regarding that girl isnt confusing…. idk if she says all of that because she’s still too young…

But as that confession is on september 2020, and it has been half a year… i didnt think about her constantly… i’ll only think about her if i saw her insta stories (like she post a selfie pic of her) and i’ll keep thinking that “what if boys in her uni could took an interest on her”… and also if i have a free time or watching romance movies.. sometimes could get reminded of her….

Can i have ur tips regarding this?