Dear TeaK

Thank you once again for replying my thoughts, some of ur words reassured me.

You said:

“It’s not a sin to share about your father’s company for advertising purposes (something like: I am proud to present to you this new development, and btw if you know someone who’s interested in buying an apartment in this complex, here’s the info…) A little self-praise and healthy self-esteem is totally okay. But if your posts are driven by an unmet need – by a craving to be praised, and if without the praise of other people you feel worthless – that’s when it’s not healthy.“

= Even though if im not doing anything to contribute to the development, and posting about that development… is it still not wrong for me to do that?

When i post about the development on my ig stories, some people replied thinking that im busy taking care of that development… whereas what im actually doing is only posting and do nothing to contribute to that development.

I feel bad, as i feel that i’ve been lying… and they might hate me if they find out that i do nothing to contribute to that development. Do u think im overthinking things or they could really end up hating me (the people who thought im busy)?

I apologize if i’ve been asking the same thing, i just wanna make sure my mind is completely settled… and it’s starting to get better day by day.

You said:

”As for the girl you like, there are too many uncertainties and so many things that can change within 4 years. I think you have a good attitude: you’re not waiting for her or expecting that she chooses you. You’re open to finding a good, loving relationship, in which you’ll be happy. You told her something very wise: “If indeed we’re meant to be with each other then we will be together…. then she said okay…”

I think it’s a good attitude. It’s okay if she sometimes pops up in your mind, but you’re not obsessing about her or hoping for something she never promised. So it seems to me you have a good attitude – just keep at it!”

= Yes you are right, there are many uncertainties that could happen in 4 years, that’s why i will try to find myself another girl and not try waiting for her.

But to be honest, i’m still obsessing about her.. idk why… but i keep suppressing myself to stay calm even tho it’s so hard. Like there isnt a day i dont think of her.. but i also try to find a new girl… like there’s 2 minds in my head. Two sides, in which one keeps thinking about her and the other one tries to find a new one.

Idk why she’s been in my head for a long time… could this be a curse for me? Like it’s been 6 years… and i can say she’s been in my head everyday for 6 straight years.. I always feel that she’s so lucky that there’s a guy who keeps thinking of her like this.. how lucky it is to be her. Sometimes i also thought that this could be a sign that i truly love her…. but due to this circumstances i try not to think about it.