Dear TeaK,

Thank you once again for ur reply and thoughts regarding my problem.

You said:

“You’re not lying if you simply post about a new development, without saying something deceiving such as “just completed this development – phew, it was a lot of work but we finally did it!” If you simply share the information, that’s fine. You can still be proud of your company’s achievements, even if it’s not your personal achievement.”

=Well, when i post about the new development that time i did write “on progress” on the story caption…. do u think it’s still okay?

You said:

”If some people think it’s you who worked on it, and they make such comments, you can say “I wasn’t personally involved much in the project, but I am very proud of it, it’s so cool”, or something along those lines. There’s nothing wrong about it. If you would consciously deceive people, making them believe it’s your merit and you worked hard on it, that would be deception and it wouldn’t be okay.”

=When the people who replied to me thinking that i’m busy, that time i tell them “yea after graduating from uni, this is what i do now”. Does this sound deceiving?

You said:

”I think it’s because you feel you would be so lucky if there were someone who thinks like that of you. You haven’t experienced that someone has these positive thoughts about you, since you parents rather had negative, worrying thoughts about you. You crave for someone who would have positive, affirming, appreciating thoughts of you.

Well, the first person who needs to have such positive thoughts about you is yourself, Felix. And then, you will be much more relaxed and you won’t worry so much if other people have positive thoughts about you or not. You’ll feel warm around your heart because you love yourself. And you won’t obsess about what other people think of you and whether they hate you. So it all starts with yourself and giving yourself those positive thoughts that you crave from others.”

= After reading your thoughts, yeah what u said is true… like it’s because i feel so lucky to have a girl who thinks that way of me, and she has lots of positive thoughts on me… that time she even crave for my attention. And she even said that she gets jealous when i said i get close with a girl. Also i used to also have a crush on another girl, but the move on process is not this hard… like i dont keep obsessing…

And what u said was right, if i have more self esteem i wont depend and on her, and will less obsessed with her.

But the truth is that i think the problem doesnt only lies with self esteem, like i also like her physical appearance… like if there’s a day i didnt think about her, then suddenly i saw her insta stories where she posted a selfie pic…. i’d feel down again and also feel sad. Like tbh she’s pretty, and in my opinion she could easily get a boy to like her.

And also due to i just recently found out that the uni she’s entering is the same as my uni…. and when i really know how that uni works… and how easily people can get to know each other in that uni…. makes my head starts to overthink again, like my head starts to imagine a scenario where she meets lots of people and end up crushing with a boy there…. and in my uni days that time i also spend lots of time chatting with her when she’s in highschool…. and now she’s in the same uni as me.

Also i feel jealous that she gets to meet lots of new people in uni for the next 4 years, whereas me….. i’m just helping my parents business everyday and i didnt meet anyone new… like even if i met meet anyone new it wont be as many as her…. how lucky she is…

Do u think if i still keep thinking about her in my head (this is an assumption) for the next 4 years…. but i wont text her except for her birthday until she graduates….., Would it be a wrong choice for me? Idk if i’ll end up tiring my head even though i still allow myself to find another girl….. but if i didnt find myself any girls to chase on the next 4 years i’m afraid i’ll think about her for that long.
Also i still keep a pic of both of us when we’re in our school prom night, i’m sure she still keeps it too. As i dont like deleting pictures (like i only experience it once, why should i delete it)…. although i know most people would delete anything to move on.

I apologize once again if i keep explaining about this girl, although u have said the problem is related to self esteem…. it’s just that i cant seem to talk to anyone regarding her…. i can only explain about her here, and i feel better after pouring it out.

I used to tell me close friends regarding her… but i dont think they can understand what i’m experiencing of her.