Javier,

I’m so proud of you again for getting help. I know it’s tough. But you’re almost through this! You just have to hold on. 🙂 We are here for you. I’m not going anywhere. You can check in as much as you like. I will answer as soon as I can.

Once you get the answers, you can take control of your life. That is the goal. You have that to look forward to.

Try gratitude journaling. It seems too like you have negative thought patterns which you have not yet learned to positively reframed. This is an article I wrote today for Forbes on this very issue: HERE

So you have a why. You want to see what will happen once you get the answers and take control. You want to not cause those you love the suffering of you ending it. But you need to dig a little deeper and find more whys.

Here’s some suggestions:

1) To help others go through what you are going through

2) To advocate for causes related to your issues

3) To find happiness and purpose

4) To know yourself so you can be vulnerable and open in a relationship without leaning too hard on the other person

5) To establish boundaries so you stay safe in your relationships or know when to walk away

6) To love yourself unconditionally. I want you to start working on this one right now.

7) To forgive yourself and others.

8) To follow something bigger than yourself- maybe an organization, cause or even a faith

9) To make meaning out of the mess. Your mess is your message.

10) And to be mindful in the moment. I suggest starting to meditate. Try Insight Timer for free ones.

Can you think of anymore?