Dear Ben,

you’re very welcome. I see you feel some shame around suffering from PTSD since you say you haven’t experienced war trauma directly. But in fact, there’s a subset of PTSD, called complex PTSD, which occurs as a result of repeated, “smaller” traumatic events, like having a difficult childhood. Complex PTSD (c-PTSD) is also called developmental trauma, because it happens during our formative years and it affects our adult life significantly.

So don’t feel “less than” or unworthy of calling yourself a trauma survivor. Because that’s what you are – a trauma survivor. A nasty divorce and everything that preceded and followed it can definitely cause trauma for the child caught in the middle…

On top of that came recent losses and tragedies in your life, which spilled your cup of pain and you cannot contain it any more. You cannot bear it, it’s too much for you. I totally understand.

You say “Nothing has helped me so far.” Have you tried therapy, and if so, what type? You said you went to rehab too. How is it now with your drinking? Do you have some support, e.g. are you participating in a support group?

I think it would be best if you’d start a new topic, so that we keep this thread for Sparky64, if she wants to return to it and share some more.  To started a new topic, go to Forums-> All Forums-> then pick a Category (e.g. Tough Times), and then New Topic.

I would love to hear more from you.