Dear Jack,

I accept they’re sleeping together, I accept they’re going out on dates, and there’s nothing I can nor will do about it, because at the end of the day, it’s her choice whether she wants to leave him or not.

I’m actually half-expecting they’ll stick together, and she’ll probably tell me to back off – which I will.

Other than all that, there’s nothing else I can do.

You seem to leave all the decisions to her – whether she wants to stay with her boyfriend and break it off with you, whether she decides to keep cheating on him once he leaves, or whatever other arrangement she may choose. It’s all on her, and “there’s nothing else you can do”.

In reality, you could do a lot of things, specially since you say you’re just playing it cool, but in fact it’s hard for you. Which means you do have feelings for her, you’re not just looking for something casual, even if that’s what you told her.

One problem, as I see it, is that you don’t want to appear vulnerable, so you’re pretending it’s fine with you, whatever she chooses. But what would happen if you’d actually show that it’s not the same for you? What would happen if you’d tell her to choose between the two of you, or you can’t be with her?

So what on Earth does she want?

What do you want, Jack?