Dear TeaK,

Thank you once again for replying my thoughts.

You said:

“Also, that you’ll do some jogging or walking in the near future. Do you have some green areas in the vicinity of your housing complex?”

= No there are no green areas in the vicinity of my housing complex, but mostly only few cars passing by…. due to not many residents in my housing complex…. Therefore, i can do the jogging in the complex.

You said:

“That’s great, Felix, that you don’t have this craving to impress anyone, including the girl you liked, and that you don’t need other people’s approval to be happy. That’s truly precious!”

= Tbh right now i have a plan to post on my instagram in the future, which is a pic of me as i plan to attract people with it and also to spark some jealousy for that girl… do u think this is wrong? Is this a sign that i havent moved on from her?

Because ever since she stopped chatting with me, she keeps posting pics of her…. idk if it’s to attract attention or not…. and suddenly there’s a sense of rivalry coming out from me….. like i won’t lose to her. She’s lucky that she’s a girl, that she can post selfies on normal occasion to attract attention, whereas me as a boy i cant post selfies everyday right, i’ll be weird…. and i also dont like doing selfies.

And this october she’ll enter uni, i bet she’ll post more pics on her instagram stories…..i bet on october i’ll rant about her here again 😂. Is this a wrong decision for me, will i regret it?

The picture that i want to post later on will be a holiday pic of me (as right now due to covid, i cant go on holiday.. therefore i cant post any pics)… it’ll be a pic of me without wearing my glasses. I want to said this because i dont want to end up the same mistakes regretting and beating up myself again…. i wanna think through about this before regretting later on. Right now as i’m thinking about that plan, i have a feeling i can feel regret later on…. as most people now me as a “glasses person”, i’d feel that i can be judged when i post that pic later on, like boys could think im trying hard to look handsome in which im not and there could be a possibility girls dont like it….. also on daily basis im still using my glasses… i never took them off….. this is only due to wanting to post that pic to attract attention…. as in my opinion i have a “better” looking without glasses…. although i still dont know if people will look at me as “better looking” later on or not.

Also if i post that pic, people might think im not wearing glasses anymore….. it’d be tiring for me to explain to people on by one… As i really hate being misunderstood by people.

I thought of this plan because i remember most of my friends used to post an embarrassing (as a joke) pic of me on their instagram stories on my birthday…… and also as i used to said in my previous threads that i also used to post something which caused me to embarrassed myself…. i want to get rid of it.

Although i write all of this, i’m still on the same mindset as before which is to improve myself.