Dear Murtaza:

First, replies to yesterday’s posts: regarding you smoking cigarettes: I know that you want to have a life that is as easy as possible. Continuing to smoke will damage your lungs, and if damaged enough, your life will be difficult, not easy. There is a regular at the taproom whose lungs were permanently damaged by smoking for many years. He is always connected to an oxygen tank through tubes that go into his nose. Every time he gets up from his seat, it is difficult for him, walking is difficult, sleeping is difficult.. everything is difficult- not the kind of easy life you wish for.

You wrote that you sit a lot, and it hurts your lower and upper back. A couple of years ago, there was a saying I often heard: “sitting is the new smoking”, meaning that sitting is harmful for your body. I hope that you sit in a way that’s better for your body, on the right kind/height of chair, and that every 20 minutes or so of sitting, you get up and walk around some, stretch your back correctly.

About the song “AniVeAta”:  “Ani” means “I”, and “Ata” means “you” (Ve means “and”). If you combine the two words ani+ata, it sounds like my name, anita. For me, it was meaningful to have “you” with “me”, symbolically, of course. The song’s theme is: “You and I will change the world”, that’s the only line that matters to me. Growing up and onward, If felt very powerless, as in not making any difference for anyone, having ZERO power. The idea of having so much power as to change the world was/ is very appealing to me.. imagine: you and I changing the world! It is an appealing idea (not a reality, of course).

Second, replies to today’s posts: I didn’t hear about hella before and watched just a bit of youtube- I liked the hummus sign in the background, in the restaurant they were sitting in (my favorite eating experience: wiping hummus spread around a plate with oil in the middle with a fresh pita) and I liked the small coffee cups, it made me miss those little white cups. The way Hella has her hair is the way I had it as a teenager and in my 20s, same color, same shape.

I very much appreciate everything you wrote (!!!) in your two posts- you did not ignore me or what I shared with you at all, I feel heard and understood, thank you! But I now worry that you will try too hard to address everything I write to you and that can become a difficult job- and I know you don’t like difficult, neither do I want to burden you in any way. So, following showing me your great patience and attention, it is okay that you don’t address everything I say. I want you to feel comfortable.

*I noticed that you didn’t post yet regarding the email topic and that’s okay, there is no rush.

anita