Dear TeaK,

Thank you once again for replying my thoughts.

As you’ve analyzed:

“The only good motivation to post a photo without glasses, in my opinion, is if you’ve switched to contact lenses, and this is your new look. Otherwise, if you post it just because you think you look better without glasses – but you wear glasses all the time – I don’t see much point. People might ask you “oh have you switched to contact lenses? And then you’d need to answer “no, I just posted it because…”, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation because you probably don’t want to admit publicly that you think you look better without glasses. So it might cause you unnecessary embarrassment, i.e. unwanted attention.”

= Thankfully you explained to me, as i could end up in an awkward situation…. as i’ll have to explain that i look better without glasses and i’ll just end up getting consumed by the internal saboteur again. Now i just need to find myself a way to look good with my glasses on…. but i’ll still in a very long time i guess….. as i cant go on holidays now due to covid.

Tbh this whole idea came up mostly to make that girl jealous and also a bit to get other’s praise (as i’ve said in previous threads).

It’s because this girl suddenly starts to many pics of her in instagram (it could be daily)…. and there is a pic in which she posted in an outfit and she write a caption stating that “does she look like this actress?” . That actress is one of my favourite actress, as when we’re close i used to tell her. Like why would she do that when we’ve ended? Idk what’s her purpose in posting many pics…. is it to attract boys? Or is it to show people that her instagram is beautiful? As she enters uni in october and she’ll meet many new people.

Also her pose and outfits starts to change idk why…. i used to love her due to her innocent personality…. and now it looks like she changed a bit in her styles. Like her outfit and pose look like it intended to attract guys. Whereas she’s a girl who’s forbid by her parents to be in a relationship and she also said that she feels bad if boys have a crush on her… because it wont happen as she cant be in a relationship.

So here is recently what im feeling towards her:

I’ve lost majority of my feelings for her…. mostly after i saw her posting those kind of pics…. but the obsession is still there… like i stop imagining to have relationships with her…. but i still get mad if she posts a pic of herself…. like i keep thinking that she has it easy to find a new male for her…. just take selfies everyday and she’ll get one (although you’ve explained it to me in the previous threads that it’s because i would feel lucky if there were someone who thinks like that of me, as someone never had this positive thoughts on me)

It’s not that im jealous of the male, it’s just that i feel mad that i wanna rival her to make her jealous too…..(although i know it’s not good for my own self-esteem, i’m just explaining my feeling here). What do u think of this girl behavior, can u seem to analyzed it? Is she actually an attention seeking girl?

And also i have a guess that when she enters uni later on, her posts will be way more worse than right now…. like a whole new level of attention seeking…. or am i wrong?

Also i think she’s a coquettish girl, maybe because she knows she’s pretty and she’s making use of it.

She always said that she feels bad that boys like her, as she’d hurt them as she cant be in a relationship… but all she did on social media is attention seeking…. i still feel bad for myself that i keep getting hurt due to her in the past.

This year we still text each other birthday wishes… but that’s the only message that we texted this year… as we ended last year. Do u think i should just stop looking liking her pics and viewing her stories for good? And also stop wishing her birthday for good? As if i do that she’ll realize that i don’t want to have any business anymore with her…. or should i keep just texting her birthday every year, but still in a mindset to find another girl.

Once again, i apologize if i keep explaining about this girl 😂