Dear Doremi:

“I never meet with evil people, even around me people can be annoying or disagree with me, but I never meet with someone who are truly very evil like robbers, scammers, killers, etc… This incident made me realise people can be very evil, and I was very shock, and cried a lot”- scary, isn’t it, a scary reality. Be careful then, from now on.

“Or should I just give it up, meditate, and let my salary pay everything within time”- if there is nothing you can do to legally get your money back, then accepting the loss is your only reasonable choice. Come to peace with what happened, no longer angry at yourself, hush the guilt.. you were victimized, do not victimize yourself further.

Professional counseling/ psychotherapy  can help you further with the goals you stated: (1) “to find ways to be strong and successful again”, (2) “to forgive myself”, and (3) “learn the lesson”.

Also, there is a website called Romance Scam Survivor. org that you may want to look into, there are a lot of long entries there, including  “Stories from female victims”, “How to recover”, and  “The shame of being scammed”. A part of the latter: “Firstly, we are ashamed of our own ability to not see through the scammer, because we have believed in their words and promises. We have thought we had something ‘special’. There is a societal expectations that we should be an effective judge of character and on this occasion we have been found wanting… Secondly, we feel shame because we have not had the security of our money as the highest motivation…”.

anita