You can fill that longing by being a loving, compassionate parent to your inner child

I already did that, but the hole is still here, and i don’t believe that there is only one way to love yourself, i do it my way, the way i see it fit, not whatever you say, not whatever anyone say

You can fill that longing by being a loving, compassionate parent to your inner child

And i would suppose that there is only one way to be a parent to this child, and its a man made way, i don’t care how many people got healed by this way, i already did best for myself

What you actually said about your inner child is that you’re aware of him but you suppressed him

You don’t know what im talking about, you don’t know how i lived needing love everyday excessively, so excessively that i wanted to remove this need from the origin

You’re not loving him by suppressing him. You’re not giving him an easy life by making him stay hidden, by telling him not to have feelings, or hopes or dreams.

Oh yes because you know my life to judge that, you know how its like living in iraq with dreams and hopes, to have anxiety and shame and gulit as your primary feelings, but no its fixable, you just got to workout,

you gonna teach me how to love myself? I can’t continue this conversation if you didn’t drop the idea that i don’t love myself, it just makes me mad how you blame me while you don’t even know me, i can’t do this again,

Actually, you can provide the love he needs. I told you how to do it

I just talked to the guy, he told me that he want, an understanding loving mature female to use her for his own needs

I know you haven’t given him what he needs, because you believe the best option would be take your own life. A loved and cherished child wouldn’t think or feel that way.

Sure you know, because of the few post i did here, now you have the key to my life, and allowed to advice and give opinion, did you even hear what i wrote above, im gonna say it here, imagine your child has cancer, now imagine that cancer doesn’t go away, and he lives with it for the rest of his life, now imagine your child telling you, no, begging you, to have mercy on him and end his life, because he is suffering and he don’t like it here, but you let him live anyway, and everyday, he is begging you to end this life, without any hope of this cancer going away, now you, let him live, and not only that, you telling him its his fault for havig such horrible life, for not loving himself enough so he likes life, you blame him for his illness, and you blame him for not trying to live, for wanting to die, is this sound like unconventional love?

So for the sake of argument, lets say i did what you asked me (assuming that i didn’t do that) would that change anything? Will it change my goals and desires and beliefs and values? Especially when im very fixated to not change them, and its called OCPD, i don’t care if i wasn’t diagnosed, my sister have it, and i have it,

Please teak, you make me very mad, i like you, i really do, and i don’t want to stop talking to you, even if i just talk to you with whatever, but i don’t want to do this again, to be misunderstood no matter what reasons and arguments i provide, this right here triggers my hopelessness, no matter what logic and how much evidence i put, you will never accept me or like me, you will never be okey with my decision, not because im wrong, but because you don’t like it, and i wish it wasn’t that way, i wish there is a place for people like me in this world, i wish that it wasn’t so hard to be loved by people, you don’t know how lonely i am, and you telling me how to love myself, i did, and i do, and i want people, i want that hole to be filled, and you think that i didn’t because i didn’t pursue those things, that if i did loved myself really i would satisfy those needs, but those needs require me to change my values and goals, the very thing that makes me, myself, to betray myself, it only happens when i hate myself so much, that i would want to betray every thought and belief i ever did, and live life normal, to satisfy my needs.

Can you understand this? If no so i could save your time and mine, its sad though, that every person i talk to either kill me with his wrong advises and suggestions, or just go away, i believe that anita was right, how could she be wrong? She is nearly an angel, and who im i? Just a nobody, i know its my fault, and i can’t be sad, but i want to feel sad about this, she represent all the nice people in the world, i lost them all, and its my fault, i wish heaven is real, i would imagine all the good people together, and maybe there is a place for me, to filled with this warm