Dear JW:

The short answer: in my case, obsessive thoughts that I had- completely faded away. I suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ever since my first decade of life. I no longer do.

The long answer and more (you are welcome to read it or not): every day, many,  many thoughts appear and disappear in our human brains. But when we think about something that scares us (be it global warming that currently scares me, or the possibility of being gay that currently scares you), the fear that is attached to the thought gives it the fuel that makes it possible for the thought to keep running and circulating in our brains, much like gasoline in a car’s gasoline tank gives the car the fuel to keep traveling and circulating the highways.

How can you stop  being afraid of a thought then? For me: I know that there is nothing of significance that I can do about global warming because I am not in a position of power. What is the point of thinking about it then, what good does it do? Nothing. So, I drop the thought. I will think about it again later, and again, I will say to myself: I am still not in a position of power, nothing I can do, and drop it again.

Let’s see how this may be applicable to you: if there is a gay-you underneath the person you thought you were, then there is nothing you can do about it. If there is nothing you can do about it, what is the point in thinking about it?

Also, what is the real danger for you (and for other people) in possibility of you being gay? Spell out the danger, what is it? And how does it compare to the ongoing danger danger of the world becoming too hot to live?

(1) Define the specific danger you are afraid of, (2) Think: can I do anything about it? (3) You are focusing on the sexual  orientation of one person as The Danger, but see the Bigger Picture: what is the real danger or dangers that you can do something about today, and therefore, you should focus on right now?

In my case, the real danger that I should focus on right now is losing my mental health by going crazy. If I go crazy, I will suffer today and I will make other people’s lives more difficult. So, that’s what I should focus on today: be mentally healthy, sane, and as calm and collected as I can possibly be.

anita