Dear TeaK,

• “I am sorry for replying only now, I was on holidays and rarely at the computer…”

= No worries, and i’m still thankful that you are still replying and giving me advice.

• ” Did she tell her parents about you? What was their reaction?”
• “OK, so she says she has feelings for you and could see the two of you dating. But there’s a problem with that: she is forbidden to date anyone before she graduates from the university, if I understood well? Neither her aunt nor her mother would support the idea, and she doesn’t sound like she wants to oppose them and date you anyway, does she?”
• “What kind of solution? She told you she would be able to date only in 2 years from now, at the earliest. Until then, what is she suggesting?”

= She told me that, at first she thought that her parents would be mad at her for getting close with a boy. But that reaction didnt happen…. After she said that, her father said: You are still 18, focus on your studies first. And her mom said: You are still too young to have a relationship with someone, i suggest you to have a relationship with someone when you have graduated uni/working. Also her mother asks how she and i get to know each other, she told her mother that we get to know each other because we attend the same school when i was her senior…. but then we mostly contact each other through chatting as we never meet each other. Then her father told her: I think both of your relationship is still “puppy love”. And her mother said: How can you both know each other if only by chatting…. and her mother said that she suggest her to have a relationship when graduating uni later on. Although her parents said those words, i dont think they force her to cut off ties with me.

After that she said to me that she needs a few days to think about the solution,

Then after the few days she said to me that she decided to go back to her old decision in which both of us didnt form any romantic relationship… like only stay as a casual “friend”.

She said after those few days of thinking and understanding herself, she said that she’s actually a person who doesnt want to have a relationship that early…. because she always heard those advices from her parents… and also she also has an aunt that has a bad marriage and she fears that…. and she said that’s also a reason why she doesnt want to have a relationship quickly… like she prefers the relationship if it’s really a sure relationship till marriage…. because even if she has a relationship with me now, she’s going to uni in a city (45 mins by boat from my city)…. she said that even if i can travel to that city occasionally… we wont have many chance of face to face… she said long distance relationship cant make her know her partner’s personality fully. She prefers being with someone who she can meet occasionally…. and also she said she wants a relationship when she’s working…. but she cant predict where she’ll be working….. is it in her uni’s city or in our city? As she graduated uni on 2025. She also said that she’ll have to deal with her aunt later on… as she’s living with her in uni’s city. Like she prefers when she graduate later on.. when she’s an adult and free.

She said to me that honestly she has feelings for me… and those days before she has concludes that decision hurts her.

She said to me that both of us should move on…. she told me not to wait as she’ll feel guilty towards me… as she’ll stop me from having a relationship with someone… only because she cant have a relationship till she graduate.

Tbh i cried that day and i said that i agree with her decision…. but i said to her that i’ll still open any possibilities of both of us being together…. she told me: please dont said that, it hurts me to feel guilty that you’ll wait for me… i’ve hurt you a lot of times.. seeing you hurt also hurts me.

I said to her yes i’ll agree with your decision and i’ll move on…. but we cant predict the future… who knows that we might end up with each other…

She said okay…

But let’s just focus on the present…. let fate decides the future… For right now, let’s both move on.

And i said okay.

I cant believe that i’ve done everything i can all these years but i still havent found myself a happy love relationship life.

Tbh i said to her that i “open possibilities” is because that she always remembers everything i said and i hope that those small words might brought us together if we’re meant to be.

I also want to form a relationship with her now is also so that i wont have to face any possibilities of rivalry with the boys who want to chase her when she’s in uni later on. Although im convinced that she’s really sure that she dont want a relationship till she graduates…. but anything could happen and we dont know. And when she graduates on 2025….. i’d be 26 by then…. i bet some of my friends are married by then.

I dont even have a time to think about my insecurities with her…. like my height….

These days i’m healing myself after feeling hurt, like after i finished healing i’ll try to chase other girls…. if i’m still single till 2025 i’ll try again with her if she’s still single….. But idk when will i finished healing…. it’ll take a lot of time and it hurts a lot.

But i also fear that when she graduates later on….. she’ll be a different person and also she’ll have a lot’s of boys acquaintances…. much more rivalry than now. And i also hope that she’ll be working on our city when she graduate later on… not on her uni’s city…. as i’ll have no chance with her (LDR).

I keep praying to god these days, that i’ll be given the right path on my relationship life….. i keep praying that it’s her….. i cant believe im still this madly obsessed with her even after that decision.

I hope that in the future i’ll get to marry someone who i madly in love with.