Dear Moonflower,

you’re welcome. I am fine, thank you, just returned from holidays 🙂

It’s good to hear your partner is supportive, thinks highly of you and isn’t affected by other people’s opinions too much, even the opinion of his own family. That’s refreshing and a good base for a healthy relationship!

I am trying to be more independent from others opinions and not let it affect me as much as I do. For it not to rule how I am around people but the hard truth is, is that it still does. I really hate it when people say things that I’m sensitive about or make.judgemental remarks as I try to avoid confrontation at all costs if I can…

Unlike your partner, you do care about what other people will say, i.e. are sensitive to their criticism and judgment. You also say you’re critical of yourself, specially your looks after the surgery.

This probably means you have a rather strong inner critic, which is accusing you of not being good enough, pretty enough etc. After the surgery, you say you felt “less of a person, like something was missing”. I think it was the same inner critic who was telling you that after the surgery, there’s something deeply wrong with you, so much so that you felt less of a person.

Would you say this is true? If so, I believe it’s your inner critic that is really stopping you from living your life authentically, carefree and at peace with yourself…